One Two, There's A Curse On You
by smalld1171
Summary: Involving Dean, a curse, and a bad trip. *Now Complete*
1. Chapter 1

**Hi there. Just another random thought that floated into my brain last night. I figure this will be a five chapter story. **

**Dean really hates witches, and they ain't to fond of him either! **

**I hope you enjoy and I would love to get some feedback if you are so inclined. As always, I do not own anything associated with SPN. Thanks for checking this out! :)**

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><p>"S'm?"<p>

"Yeah, It's me man."

"Did you gank that skeevy bitch?"

"Yup, consider her gankified dude. You okay, you've been out for a few minutes."

"Yeah m'good. Wait… gankified? Awesome, Sammy made a new word!"

"Uh-huh, you sure you're alright?"

"Yeah, just, I can still feel her wrinkly wrinkles on me. Gross. I hate friggin witches man."

"Really, why haven't you mentioned this before?"

"Funny. Let's get the hell out of here, it's gonna take a shitload of scalding hot water and soap to get rid of the ick factor."

"Yeah, I get it. Dean, hold up. Did you say she had her hands on you?"

"Well, let's see. Jumped me from behind, threw me up against the wall.. so yeah, I'm pretty sure these are the things that require hands. Creepy, wrinkly, disgusting, witchy hands. Gross."

"Dean."

"What? Stop with the look Sam. You should be nice to me, I've just been violated you know."

"Okay, listen Dean. Do you remember, did she… uh… whisper anything in your ear?"

"What? Come on dude, I'm trying my best not to puke over here."

"It's important."

"Fine, why don't I just relive it for you then? What do I remember. Oh right, she had her hand on my throat and her ugly mug way too deep in my personal space. God Sam, she was just like one of those skanks in the movies, complete with all the clichés. Thinning hair, age spots, super creepy toothless smile. And dude, don't get me started on her breath."

"Dean, did she say anything to you?"

"Apart from 'I've got you now my pritty?'"

"Serious here Dean."

"Really? Why haven't you mentioned this before."

"Cute. Try to remember alright?"

"Okay, okay, chillax bro. Um… yeah, I guess she did."

"And? What did she say?"

"What does it matter now? Ding dong, the witch is dead so let's chalk this one up in the win column and call it a night."

"It matters. Now, talk."

"Fine, if it'll end this stupid conversation. I think she said… One, two, there's a curse on you. Or some bullshit like that. I mean really, a nursery rhyme? They sure don't make witches like they used to."

"Shit."

"What?"

"Anything else?"

"No, I think I took a little siesta after that."

"Damn it Dean."

"What! Listen Sam, she's been 'gankified' right? So, end of story. She's dead, curse is dead."

"Not quite."

"Say again?"

"Powerful witch, powerful curse. If she finished reciting the whole thing then there's nothing we can do, you're just gonna have to ride it out."

"Ride what out?"

"Sorry dude but it's gonna be a bad trip."

"And just how do we know if she finished it or not?"

"We wait. And believe me, we'll know."

"Huh, anyone ever tell you that your pep talks aren't all that peppy?"

"Let's get back to the motel where I can keep an eye on you."

"Whatever, but I'm sure you killed her before she finished. Right?"

"Yeah, probably, but just in case we need to get out of here, don't want you jumping down the rabbit hole out here."

"Peachy."

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><p><strong>TBC.. Thanks for stopping by ;)<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello again! Wow, I think this is like the fastest update I have ever done! But, I think I fibbed a bit, it will be more than five chapters. Oops!**

**I should have mentioned previously that there will be references to events from Seasons 4 and 5. **

**Thanks to all of you who sent such lovely reviews and added this as a favourite or on your alert list, I appreciate it very much! I would love to hear your thoughts on this one. Thanks again for checking this out! :)**

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><p>"Dean?"<p>

"Yeah?"

"You look a little zoned out, what's going on with you?"

"I'm fine Sam. Nothing is going on. I'm just tired. Just the regular, well, regular as in the worn out and in desperate need of sleep tired from tangling with that stupid, stinky, and have I mentioned wrinkly old hag? Nothing curse related dude so just chill. Quit hovering man, you're creepin' me out."

"Sorry, I'm just… are you sure you feel okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine, just like the other twenty freakin times you've asked me that in the past ten minutes!"

"Alright, geez, just wanted to make sure."

"Look Sam, it's been what, over an hour already? I think it's safe to say this so called curse from Mrs. Powerful Witch is a dud. Believe me, I've been cursed enough times to know that we've surpassed the witchety window of opportunity and are pretty much in the clear."

"I don't know man, this wasn't your garden variety kind of witch."

"Whatever. All I know is that I can't just sit here and watch you watch me, it's kinda unsettling and awkward. So, I'm gonna take a shower and wipe away all this skank residue. It just creeps me out and makes me feel dirty, and not in a good way."

"Dean, I really think we should…"

"No more waiting Sam. Look, I appreciate your over the top brotherly concern but… I. Feel. Fine. Can we just drop it and get some shut eye, I'm beat."

"Okay, maybe you're right, but just leave the door unlocked."

"Sam…"

"Can't help it bro, got a bad feeling about this."

"That makes one of us dude. Look, it's a good day. The witch is dead and we both walked away without a scratch. Look, I just need ten minutes dude, that's all."

"Okay."

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><p>"Wow, that was like the fastest shower ever, and hell, did you even bother to dry yourself off before coming out of there? You really must be tired. Dean? Dude, what's wrong?"<p>

"Um…"

"What's going on?"

"Um… you're sure you ganked her right?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. Why? Dean, talk to me, you're freakin me out."

"What? No, it's okay. Just forget it. Probably… I'm just tired. Imagining things."

"No Dean, you need to tell me. What happened?"

"Huh, well, maybe I just got some water in my ear or something but I thought I heard… but no, can't be…"

"Spill it dude."

"I thought I heard her voice whisper in my ear."

"Damn it. Do you remember what she said this time? Just take your time and concentrate."

"She… it's… shit."

"Dean?"

"Crap, I, please, I don't know if I can do this. Sam, please, don't make me go through this again. Please! Stupid witch, how did she know? Damn it, uh, what time is it?"

"What?"

"Quick Sam, what time is it!"

"Um, it's a couple minutes to midnight. Dean, why, what's happening? What did she say!"

"No, oh God, no."

"Dean, look at me and focus. Calm down alright? Remember how I told you how you're gonna have to ride this out?"

"Yeah…"

"Okay, good. So I need you to take a few deep breaths and tell me so I can help you."

"It's… please Sam, there has to be another way, I… don't let this happen!"

"Dean, you're okay man. We'll get through this together like always. Whatever it is I can help, just please, let me in. Tell me."

"But that's the thing Sam. You can't help. Couldn't… I mean you tried, I know you did, but you couldn't last time, so you can't this time."

"You're not making any sense Dean. I don't know what you're talking about, of course I can."

"No Sam. The voice… she said…three, four…."

"Okay, and?"

"God I… I can hear them Sammy. They're coming for me. They're coming…"

"Dean, who's coming? Dean, who is coming!"

"Son of a bitch… they're here."

"Dean? What do you hear? What, do you see something over there? Dean!"

"Three, four… hellhounds at your door."

"Shit."

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><p><strong>TBC... Thanks for stopping by... reviews would be awesome and appreciated muchly! ;)<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi again. I am trying my darndest to update as soon as I can! THANK YOU for all the wonderful reviews, I must say I am very pleasantly surprised. :) Sorry, very limited humour in this chapter cuz I love me some Dean angst, it's a guilty pleasure of mine! I'd love to hear what you think! Thanks again! :)**

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><p>"Sam, let me go! LET ME GO!"<p>

"Dean, you need to listen to me! Right now!"

"But… Sam, they're right behind you… I can see them! Trust me on this, we need to go! NOW!"

"No Dean. There is nothing there. It's just the curse, remember? They are not real, they are NOT REAL!"

"Nononono… they sure the hell ARE real! Shit… move, move move! Gotta move Sam! No, don't… stay back… stay….Sam, get out of here! AHHHHH!"

"What the hell? Damn it. Shit. DEAN! Whatever you think is happening right now is all in your head alright? Stop fighting! It's me, it's Sam. I'm not going to hurt you. And those hellish sons of bitches can't hurt you either, because they are not here! They haven't come for you, it's over. Please bro, just look at me… No Dean, look at me. Okay?"

"Oh God… no…get off of me you overgrown Cujo! You can't take me, not again! I… I didn't do anything! I… it's….not fair… get your filthy paws off me! SAMMY! PLEASE, HELP ME SAMMY! Oh God... AHHHHHHH!"

"Dean, you need to calm the hell down! I know it's hard but you need to… "

"STOP! No… please…"

"What are you looking at?"

"Shit. I'm… I'm dying… sorry S'my… m'so sorry. I know you tried but you can't fix me… Shit… my… I'm ripped to shreds… I'm gonna die."

"Dean, snap out of it man! You need to trust me. LOOK AT ME! Do you see me? DEAN! Right, that's it, can you see me? I'm right here and you are NOT dying got it? I am not letting you go!"

"S'mmy?"

"Yeah, that's right, that's it. Focus on my face okay? You and me, we killed that stupid old crone remember? But you can't help it can you? You always seem to piss them off until they decide to put some kind of kick ass skeevy curse on you; call it the Dean Winchester gift.

"Curse?"

"That's right. It's making you relive... well, you know. But, it's not real. You're fine. No hellhounds. No blood. You are still in one piece. Do you understand? Look at yourself Dean and you'll see."

"But I'm… Sam?"

"You trust me right? Good. I promise you that you are okay. Can you just slow down for a minute? Just breathe. Deep, even breaths. That's it. You're doing great. Keep it up. Calm. Slow."

"S'mmy?"

"Dean? Are you with me?"

"Yeah man, I'm here… but what the hell? I… I mean I just saw it. My body... blood everywhere, I could… I could see it… ripped apart… blood…"

"It's over now. You made it. You're okay."

"Well that sucked ass."

"Yeah. Sorry man, that was one hell of a ride. Maybe you should sit down for a minute, you look like shit."

"Feel like it too dude. I… I saw... I mean I thought… Sam… it was exactly the same as the real-life Technicolor version. Dude, I saw… my… chest was cut to ribbons… I…I could feel everything… like it was happening all over again."

"Like I said man, powerful witch…. You doing okay?"

"If you weren't here…I'd…"

"Dean?"

"Ah hell, doesn't matter, you brought me back and…"

"It's okay man, you're welcome. But that was friggin scary dude, you… you had that look in your eye… I never wanted to see that again."

"I know man and I'm sorry. I'm sure this wasn't easy for you to go through again either."

"Yeah."

"Okay, I'm good, enough chick flick shit. I mean come on, it's gonna take more than some wrinkly old bag covered in hairy warts to be the one to break the Winchester's right? After all the other shit we've gone through? Puh-lease, I ain't falling for this bullshit again. I mean, I almost wish that fugly was still breathing just so I could kill her nice and slow like. Or wait, maybe I could re-enact a kid's poem on her sorry ass... hmmm... but which one..."

"You sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine man. Anyways, I guess we got some important shit to talk about."

"What?"

"Well, being the college geek, you would probably know…uh, just exactly how many verses are there in this friggin nursery rhyme anyways? How many more blasts from the past does that bitch have in store for me? I just wanna know cuz the first one was so much fun."

"Oh… uh… well, look at the bright side bro, you survived two of them already…"

"Come on Sam, I can take it… how many?"

"Three more."

"Three... son of a bitch. Well, ain't I the lucky one?"

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><p><strong>TBC... Thanks for stopping by! Next Time: Five, six... <strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi everyone! Hey, have I mentioned how much I appreciate all of your wonderful feedback? And alerts? And favourites? :) I hope that you enjoy this chapter, I like it much better than the previous one so I hope that you do too. Please, drop me a line if you feel the urge, those reviews are wonderful motivators! :)**

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><p>"Wait, did you say three Sammy?"<p>

"Yeah."

"Hell, I thought you said twenty-three but just three? Well, that's only one more than two and I know I can handle two so I say no problem right?"

"You're kinda babbling right now dude."

"Am I? Nah, I'm just stoked cuz three is such a small number. I mean really, when you think about it, how much worse could it get? Friggin hellhounds? That's like pretty high up on the freakin food chain right? So, I say bring it on. The sooner we get this done the sooner you can get started on your ten or twelve hours of beauty rest right?"

"Finished?"

"Oh, uh, yeah. You… you don't think it's gonna get worse, do you Sammy?"

"I don't know how it could. That was pretty bad bro. Maybe it'll be smooth sailing from now on."

"Yeah, how bad could it be? Okay, so what, we just wait around until she whispers sweet, tooth decayed nothings in my damn ear again?"

"Pretty much."

"Right. I thought you'd say that. Okay, let's see… well, I gotta do something... I know, maybe we can figure it out first. She wants to mess with my mind? Well, little does she know I'm stuck in there all day and night so… I can figure it out… okay, here goes... five six… um… you'll find I'm full of tricks?"

"Dean.."

"Come on Sam, I know and you know you wanna play. Lighten up man, we know what to expect next time right? So, I'll just keep it together… I can beat her at her own game. She won't get to me again. Sam, your turn."

"Dean, I don't want…"

"Please Sam, I'm going nuts over here just waiting for my next journey into Wonderland so just humour me alright?"

"Yeah okay, sure. Ummm… five six… most angels are heartless dicks?"

"Woo hoo! That's it Sammy! Okay, my turn… five six… how bout some chesty chicks…"

"Classy as always bro."

"You know it man."

"…we stopped the apocalypse…"

"Touche… um… okay… five six… five… six… five..."

"Come on dude, you can't tell me you can't come up with another one; you do know that pricks rhymes with six right? Huh, I can't believe you didn't pick up on that one."

"Sam."

"Or licks? Man, isn't that like one of your favourite words? Or past times?"

"Sammy. Time to stop."

"Dean?"

"That was fun but I guess, the thing is, um… game's over dude."

"What? Oh, okay, got it. You heard it. So, what's next on that hag's agenda?"

"You know how we thought it couldn't get worse?"

"Yeah? Why, does it?"

"What do you think about five, six, the devil gets his kicks? Could that be harmless?"

"Well that does sound vaguely disturbing."

"Yeah, at least hellhounds at your door is pretty much self explanatory. But this? I have no idea what the hell that means. Any ideas? Um, Sam? Come on dude, this is so not the best time to stop talking."

"Hello Dean. Nice to see you again."

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me! Ain't this just peachy. Hey Lucie. Sorry to rain on your hellfire parade and all but bit of a newsflash for you, I know you're not real. So why don't you just get the hell out of my head and piss off? I hear there's a really warm and cozy little cage that's missing it's hothead."

"I've missed your dry, sarcastic sense of humour Dean. Really. But, it seems I am real enough. After all, you do seem to be having a conversation with me."

"Come on Dean, don't listen to it, this isn't real. Sam, I could use your help here man. Sam?"

"Dean, Dean, Dean. Real or not it doesn't matter. Sammy is locked away in here and can't come out to play. He won't be able to help you through this one, not unless I let him. And what kind of fun would that leave for me? You and I? We have unfinished business. And this time I intend to complete what I started. It's too bad for you that there isn't a thing you can do to stop it. So you see Dean, like I told you before, I win."

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><p><strong>TBC... Thanks as always for stopping by! :)<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi there. I hope you enjoy this latest chapter. Thanks for all your reviews and for following along. I'd love to know what you think! :)**

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><p>"Man, you really are an egotistical son of a bitch you know that? Well, I hate to be the one to burst your bubble but you <em>don't<em> win. You _didn't_ win! Past tense you moron. Over and done. Which makes this conversation null and void. Which makes you just a figment of my cursed out brain.

Sam… he beat you… my brother, he beat the fricken devil and sent you back to the sludge you are accustomed to crawling around in. One tiny, insignificant human sacrificed… uh... So excuse me if I don't believe what I am seeing because I know you are still down there skittering around the edges of your damn cage!"

"You and your bravado Dean, always quite the show stopper. But, I have to admit it grows tiresome. Your incessant nattering and false sense of superiority is annoying and insulting."

"Shucks, ain't that a bitch. Not gonna cry are ya?"

"But still, we both know that is just your defense mechanism hard at work. All that pain and torment is so easy to deny when you deflect it as rage and sarcasm to others. Now, back to Sam and his miraculous deed. I too have always been fascinated by the story of David and Goliath. The mighty felled by the small. But, I'm afraid it is just that; a story; a fairy tale; a fable; a bedtime story told to you hairless apes so you could falsify your greatness."

"Could you get to the point already, I'm starting to drift off from the boredom over here. You really can't get enough of your own bullshit can you?"

"I am going to enjoy watching you break Dean."

"Can't asswipe. You're not real so you can't do jack squat! This is just a bad acid trip flashback and you just happen to be the son of a bitch that stupid hag latched onto and dragged along for the ride. You can't hurt me, you're not…"

"Not real? Why do you continue to delude yourself? Oh yes, that's right, you are the master of the delusion; living the charade of a strong willed, charismatic evil-vanquisher but you and I both know better Dean. Underneath your well constructed wall you are just a sad, scared and worthless little boy."

"Go to Hell…"

"Hmm, kind of an idle threat there don't you think? Hell is home to me; has been for centuries… But to you, I wonder what that word does to _you_; how it makes _you_ feel; what images it brings to _your_ mind."

"Oh just shut up. I hope you aren't going to charge me by the hour for this therapy shit cuz you suck at it."

"Dean, have you ever once stopped to think; have you tried to work it out in that puny little mind of yours, how it could possibly come to pass that an inferior being such as a human could defeat the likes of me?"

"Uh… hello…. Good versus Evil you fork tongued bastard!"

"Charming as always. Listen to yourself, and you say I have an ego? Please, it wasn't you, or your brother, or inner strength or your blind devotion to each other that threw us into the pit."

"I am not listening to you, hell, I've listened enough already. Time to snap out of it Dean, back to the motel room and to the real version of Sam. The one who is standing right there. Please man."

"It was me Dean."

"What?"

"I wanted it to happen. I _allowed_ it to."

"No, that's a damn lie. That doesn't make any sense. You wouldn't just let yourself be cast back down into Hell."

"You of all people should know how Hell can change a man. Dean, you know how it can change his very soul. I was counting on it to lure your brother onto the right path; onto my path; the one I have been paving for him since before he was born."

"Shut up! Don't you talk about him you slimy piece of crap!"

"Sam fought at the beginning, of course he did. But I knew in the end he would embrace the power and revel in the freedom of his new life. A life free from you."

"But… no, stop saying that!"

"Dean? C'mon man, time to come back to me bro. It's me, I'm still Sam. I know you're fighting but you need to fight harder! It's only the curse right? Lucifer is gone. He's gone."

"Sammy? That you?"

"No. You are so predictable Dean. Fooled again by the sweetness and concern in your brother's voice. I know you, because Sam knows you. All the information swirling around in his brain; so much that he has stored in there about his life and yours, is now mine for the knowing. So tell me, how can you be so sure that your brother, the one you have found again, is the same one who took the plunge?"

"I… I know… after all we have been through since he's come back… I… I just know it's him…"

"Ah, there it is, the look. I knew it was right there, just under your skin. The fear, the uncertainty is displayed so well on your face, calling out for me to enjoy. Oh, and I do. That's a whole lotta nothing you got there Dean."

"Wh…what?"

"Ah, I see you remember. Famine. He summed it up perfectly. You're already dead inside Dean."

"You son of a bitch!"

"Now now, no need for name calling. I am merely confiding the truth to you. So tell me, where is your arrogance now? Your smugness?"

"YOU ARE NOT REAL!"

"Sam came back but he didn't come alone. And now you know; your greatest fear and your worst nightmare has come true. You failed your brother in every imaginable way. The truth hurts Dean but I thought I owed it to you. Sam was lost to you the moment he dove into that pit. But don't worry, I am going to take care of him for you; I will be his guide; his mentor; the one you could never be."

"Just stop… Sammy… no… stop…"

"And when the time is right I will rise again; stronger than ever before, thanks to him. Your brother and I make the perfect team. And you Dean, you are now truly alone."

"No Sammy… no… just… just let him go… get out of him!"

"He wants to stay with me Dean, forever."

"NO!"

"It was my plan to end your life right here and right now. You have been a pain in my side for far too long, longer than any other being I have encountered. But, seeing you so pathetic and weak; so utterly broken has changed my mind. We both know that living with the doubts of all you have done and seen; the doubts you have of your own brother's pureness, is far more painful than death at my hand could ever be."

"You're a liar. Sam is…. He saved us! You are not here! You can't be! YOU ARE NOT HERE!"

"You see, this is the best part. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. Real or imagined, it doesn't matter. I have wiggled an inkling of doubt into that puffed up brain of yours. Because, once again, how do you know what came back is 100% Sam? Simple, you don't."

"Sam, please, make it stop."

"I'd love to stay; to see how you try to rationalize your way out of this new conundrum, but it seems our time together is at an end. You have so much guilt and pain hidden away that it just wouldn't be fair of me to monopolize it all. Time to share. I bid you farewell Dean, but before I go I have one more thing to say."

"Shove it… where the sun shines Lucille, all your bullshit has given me a damn migraine."

"Listen careful now. Seven, eight…"

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><p><strong>TBC... Thanks for stopping by. Sorry this was a bit dark but I guess that was just my mood when I wrote it...<strong>

** Anywho, any guesses on seven, eight... ? :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi! Thanks for coming back for more and THANK YOU for all the fabulous reviews and those of you who have added this to your alerts and/or favourites! YAY! I appreciate it more than you will ever know! I hope this chapter is to your liking! I'd love to hear what you think. Enjoy! :D**

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><p>"Dean? Dean! Hey man, you back with me? Talk to me bro, let me know what's going on in that thick skull of yours."<p>

"Get away from me you fork tongued freak! Quit using him you…"

"Whoa Dean, hang on a minute alright? Just look at me, really look. It's me."

"Not falling for it this time Lucie, don't you have some demons lined up to kiss your red ass or something? You are not real and I am done playing so why don't you skedaddle back to the slithering hole that you crawled out of and leave me the hell alone!"

"Dean, it's Sam, your brother. It's just you and me. Lucifer is locked away in his cage, remember? He can't get out, you're safe."

"not real… he's not real… he's gone… he's just messing with you more… don't let him screw up your head… he's still in the pit… not with Sam… not _in_ Sam… please, don't let it be true… it can't be true… Sam, he's back… he's still your brother… don't listen… don't listen…"

"Dean."

"Okay Lucie, you've had your fun and now it's time for you to go away. I thought… didn't you say you were leaving? Didn't you… oh… shit… seven, eight… What the hell is that supposed to mean you bastard! What does it mean!"

"Dean? What is next? Seven, eight… what?"

"Nononono! Man, that can't be good. Bad, something bad. More bad. Can't take it anymore. Please, don't… no more… Sam?"

"Yeah man, it's me. You're back right?"

"Uh… frick… yeah, 'm good. I just… I saw, I had a conversation with… with…"

"Lucifer. Yeah, I know. Um, you were talking to yourself and, well, what did he say to you? About me?"

"What? Oh, uh, nothing Sammy. You know, his typical brand of horseshit. 'I'm not evil; you humans don't deserve to exist; poor me, my daddy was a big meanie; I didn't deserve to be cast down'. He's so annoying sometimes, not to mention one hell of a blabber mouth. I mean that is one supernatural piece of crap who really, really likes to hear himself talk. He almost bored me to death the way he went on and on and on…. What?"

"You aren't fooling anyone Dean. I was here and I watched you. I heard you. So, just tell me, please, what did he say about me?"

"Um.. Sam, you feel alright don't you? I mean, since you've been back? You don't… you haven't felt weird or different have you?"

"Why?"

"Doesn't matter, it's nothing."

"Dean, I feel fine. I am me and Lucifer is gone. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Are we good?"

"Sure. And anyways, can't worry about what King of the black eyed bastards had to say right? I mean sure, it's a little unnerving to have Lucifer dressed in your brother's meat suit spouting off all kinds of shit in that condescending tone of his… when he… "

"When kind of shit was he spewing?"

"Oh, nothing major. Just how he planned it all along. How he _let_ you dive into the pit; how you came to realize that you belonged with him; how you wanted nothing more than to be free, away from me. The typical lines.

But the best part of it, the most hilarious part was when he told me that when you came back you didn't come alone; that he is waiting in the wings, inside you, biding his time until he can unleash that whole apocalypse thing again. You remember what a great time that was right Sammy? So, just the same old, same old, right?"

"God Dean, okay man, just listen to me…"

"Nah, can't Sammy. I know it was all in my head. I know it was just the witch. At least now I do. But… Well, anyways, don't really wanna talk about it. It's over and done and Lucifer has left the building. Besides, we have more pressing things to get through. I am two more fun filled adventures away from this being over and forgetting all about it with my good pal Mr. Whiskey."

"But…"

"Please Sam. I can't, not now."

"Alright, fine. So then you better spill it dude, _I_ know that _you_ know what the next verse is. And I can tell by all the fidgeting and looking around that it's gonna be another doozy so… Dean?"

"Ah, well look who it is. It's like a twisted, fricked up version of This Is Your Life. Only this looks more like the less popular game titled 'Dean, Here Are All The People Who Died Because Of You.'"

"What? Who do you see?"

"Oh, you know, just the usual suspects. Huh, I really can see dead people Sam. Well, I guess you and me, we see dead people all the time right? But… this is different."

"Who Dean?"

"Aw, ain't this sweet, the gang's all here. Ellen. Jo. Pamela. Ash… and… God… no…"

"Dean?"

"it's… dad…"

"No it's not. Whatever you see is not dad. Don't look at them Dean. Just me. Focus on me, on my face, on my words. Don't look at them. Dean?"

"Huh… well I guess it makes sense then."

"What makes sense?"

"Seven, eight… they meet a grisly fate…"

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><p><strong>TBC.. Thanks as always for taking the time to read, I truly appreciate it! :)<strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello there and welcome back! Thanks to all of you for all your lovely comments and interest in this story, I appreciate it! I hope you will enjoy! :)**

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><p>"Okay, uh, alright man, let's just deal with this. You need to keep talking to me Dean. Not to them, only to me. They are just in your mind, conjured up by that ugly piece of crap old bitty and her stupid mojo."<p>

"Huh… mojo? Good one Sam. Yeah, sure, how hard can it be? Don't look now but you are being surrounded by all the people that died because of me. Well, wait, not quite. I see good old Hell-fired up dad just kinda hovering over there in the corner. Well, you know what they say, gotta save the best for last right? When you think about it, this is pretty cool though isn't it? I mean come on man, how often does someone get the chance to hear what the dead really think about them?"

"Dean, dude, you are babbling again, never a good sign man. It means you're on the verge of freaking out and it was hard enough to get you back the other times. You have to keep your focus! And those things? They are NOT the people you knew Dean, they are some twisted version so whatever they say to you try to remember it isn't them!"

"I'm fine Sam. What's a few walking, talking dead people right? We've handled worse."

"Listen to me. They did not die because of you. None of what happened was your fault. Do you hear me? How long are you going to punish yourself? Dean!"

"Yeah, yeah, I hear you Sammy but I don't believe it. You're wrong. They did… all of them… I sucked them into the Dean bullshit vortex; they decided to help me, despite their better judgement; despite the risks and just looky where they ended up. Burnt; blown up; blind and stabbed; in Hell. Don't you get it Sam, if none of them ever knew me they would at least still be breathing! And they'd look a hell of a lot better than this! There is no amount of punishment that is fit for the crime so I say ante up you sons of bitches, Dean is ready to play!"

"Dean… Dean!"

"Hey Jo. Wish I could say it's nice to see you again."

"Dean, come on, don't do this to yourself!"

"Relax bro, I know they aren't real but still, I gotta let them talk; knock me down a peg or two. I… whatever they've got to say it can't be any worse than what I say day after day to myself. Plus I figure, the sooner they each get their shot at me, the sooner this damn curse will be over."

"Dean, you don't have to do this, you can ride it out without giving them what they want; what that witch wants! She's trying to break you dude, don't you see that?"

"Yeah Sammy, I know. Let you in on a little secret too, don't let the baddies over there know. Um, I think it's kind of starting to work. I'm running on fumes here dude and I don't know how much longer it will be until I end up in the fricken loony bin. So, just sit back and make sure my heart doesn't give out okay? This is the only way."

"But Dean…"

"No buts Sam. I trust you to snap me out of it somehow if it gets too out of control. Now Jo darling, why don't you get the party started? Something you wanna say to me?"

"Uh, hang on there man, I think I want to start us off."

"Sure Ash, what the hell right? And just how is it that I turned you from flesh into nice and burnt and crispy like again?"

"Dean, you aren't helping things."

"It's all I got Sam. Just stay close alright?"

"You got it all figured out dontcha Dean? You _know_ how… I helped you… you and Sam with all your little Winchester escapades and if I recall, the last time we talked you treated me like I ain't never done nothin' for the two of you! Gave me a hard time and then took your sweet ass time getting there… always too late aren't ya Dean? But who gives a shit right?

All that mattered was how you were going to find Sam. Sam, Sam, SAM! I know you wished I would have told you over the phone what I found out. And I know that you were not upset over the fact that I was dead. Did you know that I was still alive when I burned up? That I could feel everything?"

"God Ash... I didn't know... I thought... shit man, I'm sorry..."

"Hell, what does it matter, even if you knew it wouldn't change the real reason you were upset. You were pissed off because I died before I could tell you what I knew! I wasn't nothing but expendable in your books right? Just like everyone? Expendable? Used for what we know and then, when you get what you want, we're tossed to the curb, put out on display, like bait for all the demons and evil that you have messed with! So really, what else were they to do but throw a human barbecue party!"

"I'm sorry Ash but… of course I was upset about what happened to you... but there was nothing I could do... you gotta know that's the truth..."

"Huh, same old same old huh Dean? Never willing to take responsibility for what you cause!"

"Truth is Ash, you wanted to help, to be a part of something bigger than The Roadhouse. You loved to show off how smart you are… uh…oops… how smart you were. I was always very impressed man. You were the only one I ever met who could give Sammy a run for his money in the geekiness department. And the hairdo? Man, that was classic.

Although I have to say that the whole charred look isn't the best look for you. Oh, and by the way, I know this isn't real because I saw you in Heaven! Whole and in one piece with a cold beer in your damn hand! So nice try whatever the hell you are but you sure ain't the real deal. So frick off already and haunt some other poor bastard, I am done!"

"Dean?"

"Huh. Okay Sam, figured it out I think. Ash… or whatever the hell that was… it just disappeared. Maybe I gotta just talk all nice and calm and not let them get to me… stand up to it… or something… I dunno…"

"Or maybe he was just the opening act Winchester. It ain't gonna be so easy to get rid of me…"

"Oh, hey Pamela. Nice to see you."

"Still with the blind jokes huh? You are a looker all right but not too bright in the brains department. Then again, who needs brains when you got Sam around to fix your bumbling mistakes, right?"

"What?"

"Nevermind, don't hurt that little itty bitty brain of yours Dean. You do know that you _are_ the one who got _me_ killed right? No grey area on this one. But, you couldn't just kill me straight out could you? Had to convince me to summon whoever pulled you out of the fire first…"

"I didn't convince you of shit Pamela, you wanted to help… "

"I got my damn eyes burned out of my skull for you and the big mystery of why anyone or anything would want to drag your worthless hide back from Hell. You remember that don't you? Burned out of my skull! Pain like you can't possibly imagine smart ass so tell me, can you actually sit there and say that if you never came back I would still be dead? Hmm?"

"Pamela...I...I..."

"Didn't think so hot stuff. You know it and your brother knows it. I died because of _you_."

"I know. God, I know. I'm…"

"Oh save it. I don't want to hear you say you're sorry for the billionth time."

"So what then? What is it you want from me?"

"Calm down Dean. Relax bro. Please."

"What all of us want Dean. What every single person you have touched with your poison wants. For you to suffer; to be haunted day in and day out; for you to pay for what you did."

"But… I already do… it's… no, I didn't do anything to any of you!"

"Give the bullshit a rest okay? I'm not done yet. So there I was, blind, because of you, but you couldn't just let me live my life, well, whatever life I was left with. Oh no, you had to pull me back in for another round of Dean vs. Evil. 'Please Pamela, you're the only one who can help; the seals are breaking and we need your help to save one; to stop the apocalypse' The seals? What a joke. You can't have forgotten who it was that started breaking the seals in the first place? Can you? DEAN!"

"Stop it Pamela. Please, you don't know why… how… I… I didn't know…"

"It's not real Dean. Remember that, she isn't real!"

"Yeah, helpless little Dean Winchester, the bringer of the damn apocalypse. So you needed to try to right the wrong by using me to send you and little Sammy there off to the world of the dead for a little looksee, to save one precious seal. ONE! And you did, thank God for that right? But wait, hang on, what was the cost again? Ah, nothing major… just my LIFE!"

"We did stop it. You helped to stop it."

"I DON'T CARE! You killed me! You are a selfish bastard Dean and you will rot in Hell for it! I know for a fact that you are heading downstairs when your time is finally up. And I can't wait."

"No… that's not true. I'm not… I can't… I'm…"

"Dean, what's going on? You are definitely starting to freak out. So not good. So not good. Dean! C'mon bro, whatever it's saying don't listen to it! DEAN! DEAN!"

"Shhh Sam. Stop with the yelling alright? S'okay, she's gone. Another one bites the dust. Just, uh, my usual charm and charisma was a bit lacking that time. Hell, she was a nasty bitch that one. Perfect. The hits just keep on a coming."

"Dean?"

"Here comes the next contestant. This one's gonna hurt like a bitch Sammy."

"Jo. Hey."

"Shit Dean. Hang on bro, just hang on."

"Hiya Dean. How do I look? Still wanna spend your last day on earth with me? Cuz you do know this is it right, _this_ is your last day. And there is nothing you can do about it."

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><p><strong>TBC... Thanks for stopping by. Next up, the Harvelle's have a turn :)<strong>


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi and welcome back, sorry for the delay, the Harvelles were trickier to write than I had anticipated. Hope you enjoy and feel free to drop me a line with your thoughts. Thanks again to all of you out there taking the time to read and send me those most awesome of reviews! I truly, truly appreciate your support! :)**

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><p>"C'mon Jo, that's a little melodramatic don't ya think? You don't really believe that this little curse evoked trip down memory lane is going to be the thing that finally kills me do you? After everything that I have been through? After everything that I have lost? After all the times that I made it to Heaven just to be sent back to earth and my own version of Hell? It's gonna take way more than you and your momma to do me in. You're not real, you know it and I know it, so why don't you just say what you gotta say."<p>

"Dean, you need to calm down."

"Just can't stop can you Dean? Always hiding behind that see-through sarcasm of yours. You know what you did. You know that I am dead because of you; struck down just like so many others who you lured in with your big speeches and give 'em hell attitude. You are a damn liar and sure, you can blame it on all the evil out there but you know what? You are just as bad, maybe worse."

"Don't say that Jo…"

"None of what they are saying is real Dean. Dean?"

"I died because of you Dean and you know it. You can joke around all you want but we all know the real deal. We know that true evil has green eyes."

"No, that's a load of crap."

"You know it's true Dean."

"I'm… I'm so sorry. You know I didn't want to leave you there. I tried… damn it, I tried to save you!"

"Aw, ain't he sweet mom, he said he's sorry."

"Yeah Joanna, ain't he a peach?"

"Ellen please, you know… you can't blame me for this!"

"Shush up sunshine, Jo ain't finished her turn yet."

"Yeah, thanks mom. Dean, you have been using your charm and good looks your whole life. To get laid, to get information, to get some love sick girl to follow you wherever you go. Flaunting it for all it's worth and then just tossing all those people to the side. People who cared for you… people who loved you.

"Just stop, please, stop… Jo…"

"Come on bro, keep it together man."

"A girl just like me Dean. So what exactly is it that you're sorry about? Hmmm? For which part exactly? For using the crush you KNEW I had on you to suck me into your twisted vendetta? Or maybe for dragging me along to Carthage while dangling 'the end of the world' speech in my face? Or maybe for letting me get in the way of you and your furry little hellhound friend?"

"Jo, listen to me… you were the one who wanted to tag along; wanted to follow in your dad's footsteps. I tried to keep you out of it! I tried to tell you that this life was not for you but you just wouldn't listen! In the end, it's your own fault for what happened. You should have just stayed away from me and let that damn hellhound finish its job!"

"MY FAULT! Where in the hell do you get off blaming ME you gutless coward! Take some responsibility for your actions Dean!"

"Dean, it's Sam. You just need to chill out dude. You are sweating and breathing heavy and you are losing your focus man. These are just visions, not the real deal. That is not Jo and that is not Ellen. You remember that right? Dean?"

"Damn straight she should have let you be mauled by that damn hellhound instead of her! Damn it Jo, why did you do it girl? He doesn't care about you, never did. Just another piece of ass to him."

"Ellen, shut the hell up! That's a bit harsh don't you think? Did you ever wonder why I didn't take you up on your oh so obvious innuendos Jo? Hmm? Maybe it was because I knew it would end badly, just like it always does. Anything, anyone who touches me gets burned."

"You should have tried harder Dean. You should have cared more about who you were hurting. You should have died instead of me. You KILLED ME! I sacrificed my damn life for you! And why? I've been asking myself that same question since the moment you left me in that damn warehouse to die! You uncaring, unfeeling son of a bitch!"

"Dean! C'mon bro, just stay with me, a little while longer and it will all be over."

"I'm fine Sammy. No worries right? Just getting reacquainted with the Harvelles over here. I think they really missed me too, they are definitely turning on the charm. You know what they say, sticks and stones may break my bones but figments of my fricked up mind can never hurt me. But…"

"Dean?"

"It's true. I killed them Sammy. All of them. Every single one."

"No Dean, that is not true. None of their deaths were your fault. You have to believe that."

"Ah, ain't that nice. Brotherly bonding at its best. But, you are the one who's right this time Dean. It is true. You did kill us."

"Is it almost over Sam? I need this to be over. Can't handle much more."

"Yes you can Dean. You are doing great and they will be gone soon. Just keep it together a little longer alright?"

"Sam is such a liar, he should shut his damn mouth! We know the truth don't we? That you aren't doing great; that you are so close to giving up and giving in."

"No. I'm not going to give up or give in. You two bitches are just here because of that ugly witch! You can't hurt me! I don't owe you anything! You are dead and that's a shame but it wasn't because of me! Get the hell AWAY FROM ME!"

"You are an ungrateful piece of shit! We ain't leaving yet, we have so much more to say. Like Jo.. she just… she was so blinded by infatuation; by the hope that one day you would feel the same way about her as she did about you. Stupid kid. You didn't even notice her, well, not until it was the end of the world and she was all set to die to save your sorry ass. She… she died to save you Dean and you just walk away? Scott free?"

"Scott free Ellen? Is that what you call this? Do I look like I am living the high life out here? Do you think for one minute that I want to still be breathing? That I don't think about all of you every single day; about how I hate myself and that fact that I still have to get up in the morning?"

"Dean, what are you saying bro? Do you really feel that way?"

"Boo hoo Dean. Wow, you really have it rough don't ya? What a shame that you are allowed to carry on in life while we get to rot away."

"Whatever Ellen. You just don't get it, it doesn't matter what you say to me, I have heard it all before; I hear it spinning around in my own head. I'm sorry you're dead. I'm sorry you got mixed up in all of this but I'm through talking to whatever the hell you are. So, if you done I'd like you to get out of my face already!"

"I knew you were trouble the minute I found out your last name. Winchester. It just oozes gloom and doom and death. But no, thought maybe John's sons would be different. Boy, what a stupid bitch I was. I opened up my home and my heart Dean and what do I get for it? My bar, destroyed. My.. my friends, burned alive. My daughter, ripped to shreds by something that was after YOU! So please, save your sympathy and your meaningless attempt at forgiveness and shove them directly up your ass!"

"Ellen I…"

"You better stop right there. I don't want to hear it. Enough of your bullshit already, it's making my ears bleed. You are the cause Dean. Of everything. Everyone you touch gets infected; gets corrupted; gets marked for a grisly demise. But that's okay because there is a silver lining to the big, dark, and ominous cloud that hovers over everyone who is unlucky enough to cross your path."

"What do you mean? What silver lining?"

"Dean! Snap out of it man! She isn't real. How many times do I have to tell you that she is not here! DEAN! Don't listen to it!"

"I mean this Dean. We are all watching with bated breath for you to get what is coming; what is owed to you. I'd love to let you in on the secret myself but I figure that your daddy over there wants to have a turn. So, enjoy your reunion Dean and remember, you have only yourself to blame."

"Well that's a bummer, here I thought you were talking about rainbows and unicorns. Does that mean you're done? Is it time to move on from the warm up act and get to the main attraction? Huh. It's funny Sam. It's like I'm the main course of the all you can eat Dean buffet. So Ellen, bring it on bitch, I don't think I can look at you and your daughter's ugly mugs anymore. You are making my eyes sting."

"Be careful what you wish for Dean, cuz you are sure as hell gonna get it!"

"Bye Dean, it's been fun."

"Dean? Are they gone? Dean?"

"Yeah, they're gone Sam. It's okay, quit the look man, I'm fine."

"Is that true? Do you really wish you weren't breathing?"

"Huh? Oh, of course not Sam. I was just playing along. You know, get 'em out of my face quicker. And boy, their faces weren't looking too good."

"Dean, I don't…."

"Crap. Sam?"

"Dean, you still with me?"

"Uh no, I don't think so."

"Is it dad? Dean, is it dad?"

"Yup, and he looks pissed. Dad? Please, not you dad… not you…"

"Dean, that is not dad."

"Hey kiddo. Boy, I thought those two would never leave. So, what do you say, time for you and me to have a little chat?"

"Sure, why not, that would be fricken awesome."

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><p><strong>TBC... Thanks for stopping by! Next chapter - daddy dearest... ;)<strong>


	9. Chapter 9

**Hi everyone! I know that this fic has kind of turned into a major angst-fest but I can't help it. Angsty Dean is a passion of mine and I figured as he had to face all these things, less and less of his usual smart-assness (is that a word?) would be able to make it out. Just a warning, there will be very little humour in the remainder of the story so I apologize to any of you who were hoping for a big comic turn around. Anywho, thanks for taking the time to read this and thanks to all of you for the wonderful reviews, I am always totally stoked when I get a review alert! Thanks so much! Enjoy!**

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><p>"Tsk, tsk... Dean, Dean... Dean. Just look at yourself. Look what you've become. It breaks my heart, that I wasted myself on something so unworthy of saving. On something so pathetic and useless."<p>

"Don't say that to me! Not you..."

"Why not? Why can't you just accept what you own brain is telling you? This little trip you're on isn't because of some stupid witch. Sure, maybe she triggered it but all of this? It's all you Dean. This is how you see yourself so don't blame me. Blame yourself."

"No, this is..."

"I take it all back you know, every single word."

"Take what back?"

"Remember in the hospital, when I made that idiot deal to save you? I told you... I said I was proud of you. Huh, what a pisser. Nothing could have been further from the truth."

"You can't take that back! That... that was the only time you ever said that to me! You can't... you can't take it back!"

"I can and I just did. Poof, gone. You waited so long to hear those words and now you know, they were lies. Big, fat, juicy lies. I mean really, how could I possibly be proud of this? It fills me with shame to know that you are my son."

"No..."

"Dean, are you okay? What's happening? Talk to me man, please."

"You should see the look on your face. And are those tears? Can't deny it now, your weakness is out there, on full display for all to see. And I for one am enjoying every moment. You know what? Now that I think about it, I'm sorry you were ever born. Too bad it wasn't you who died in that fire."

"Sammy... please. I can't...help...it's...it's too much. God...please just make it stop."

"That's the real kicker Dean. Sam, maybe he could snap you out of it but we both know he doesn't want to. Not really. He hides it pretty good but inside I know that he is smiling. He wants to see you suffer for a change instead of him; wants to see you knocked down off that high horse of yours. He's been waiting for a long time to see you fall, and somehow I don't think he'll be around this time to pick up the pieces."

"Sam? You... not you... is it true?"

"Is what true Dean?"

"I thought you were strong; thought you were a leader, someone for Sam to look up to after I was gone. I couldn't have been more wrong. Just another sap taken in by you and your talent for the art of B.S. You even duped your own father into thinking you were more than just a sarcastic, hot headed oaf. I'm sorry you were ever born."

"SHUT UP YOU BASTARD!"

"Dean, you need to focus on me right now damn it! Stop looking at whatever it is you see and look over here. At me."

"Yeah, go on son, listen to Sam and take a look. Take a good, long look at your brother."

"That's it bro. Just calm down alright? I don't know what is going on but listen to me. I am right here beside you and I am not going anywhere okay? You need to take some deep breaths and calm the hell down because you are really starting to worry me. It is just twisting everything Dean. Fight it. You've gotta fight."

"Do you see it? The hurt? The pain? The shame and guilt and anguish written all over Sam's face? The way his body language tells you he is tense and stressed and ready to explode?"

"Yeah, I see it but I am on to you. You are not my father and you are NOT going to pull me in to this damn freakshow!"

"That's it bro, don't let it win. Remember, that thing isn't dad."

"Huh, talk about shows. I see yours is up and running at full power as usual. Always the professional at covering up those pesky emotions. It's okay, I know it's the only way you can cope with your piss ass existence."

"Just stop."

"I'm just getting started. Now listen up, cuz this part is pretty important."

"Great, just what I was hoping for, another damn lecture from some evil son of a bitch masquerading as my dead and gone dad. I think I've maxed out on the talking to the dead portion of the evening. What else could you possibly have left in your tickle trunk?"

"There's the boy I know. That's it Dean, mask all the pain and anger behind smart ass remarks and an ego the size of, I don't know, the friggin moon? Show is over Dean. Time to face the truth."

"You are not real and I don't have to face shit! I've already done my time. Been there, done that and walked away without even a damn t-shirt!"

"Calm down Dean, seriously dude. Just breathe."

"The only reason that Sam looks like that is because of you. He was so happy before you came and barged back into his life; dragged him kicking and screaming away from his rosy piece of Paradise, just to follow you right back into Hell. He still hates you for that Dean."

"Sam... Sammy? I'm so sorry... I didn't mean... I should have left you alone... I ruined your life!"

"Listen man. I'm glad you came back. Do you hear me? Things were never right after I left. There was always something missing. You. Nothing that happened was your fault. God Dean, you... you saved me! I'd be dead if it wasn't for you!"

"There he goes again Dean, telling you what you want to hear out of some kind of misguided devotion. You know he left because of you right? He ran as fast as he could; not away from me; not away from hunting. Away. From. You."

"That's a damn lie! You are the one who pushed him away you ass! He needed to get the hell away from you and... you drove him to it! I've always been there for him, always! More than you ever were!"

"Ding! We have a winner! Exactly Dean. You were always there; always in his face; breathing down his neck. You smothered him until he couldn't breathe. Every time he looked at you; every time he saw what he was threatened to become, he was driven closer and closer to the door. He knew he had to get out; away from your poison. Just because you turned out to be a loser didn't mean you had the right to latch on and pull him down to the bottom with you. He left so he wouldn't become the one thing he hates most. You."

"SHUT UP! SAM DOESN'T HATE ME! HE NEVER DID!"

"What the hell? Dean, calm the frick down! You're right, I don't hate you, how could I? That isn't true, you know that. Right?"

"I meant it Dean, every damn word; with every fibre of my being. Proud of you? What a joke, just like you. Now Sammy? Damn, I am so proud of him. Always have been. He was always my favourite. I should have known you weren't up to it. You are nothing more than a damn robot; not one thought of your own anywhere in that over inflated head of yours. At least Sam can think for himself!"

"Stop saying that. My dad would never say that to me. That is the damn yellow eyed piece of shit talking, not him!"

"God Dean, what? No, please dude, you can not go through that again. Keep on fighting man!"

"Huh, typical maneuver. Deflection. You are a master after all. But really, bringing up old yellow eyes? To me? This is the distraction you use to get away from your own issues? Not very smart Dean. You see, that's kind of a sore spot to your dear old dad. You do remember that he possessed me right? Don't you? Answer me damn it!"

"Yes... yes sir..."

"Dean, that is not dad."

"Ah, good ol' Sammy. He was so sweet and innocent once upon a time. He had the chance to put an end to all of it; he could have taken that bastard out, right then and there. He could have prevented every other god damn piece of crap thing from happening if he would have just taken that one shot. But oh no, you couldn't let that happen. You were so scared of going out into the world without your daddy to hold your hand that you sweet talked your little brother into making the biggest mistake of his life; into letting me live."

"I.. I couldn't let him kill you. He.. we just found you again!"

"I'm glad I didn't kill him Dean. I'm glad I listened to you. Do you hear me?"

"And just look at the mess you made because of that Dean. Because you were to weak to carry on; because you had no one and nothing in your life that meant anything. Because you knew that Sam would toss your sorry ass to the curb the second the demon was gone; the moment his revenge had been satisfied. And then there would be you, poor little Dean, left all alone. You are selfish Dean. All of this, its always been about you and what you wanted. So insecure, so terrified... so worthless."

"Couldn't... Sam would have never forgiven himself... family is the most important!"

"BULLSHIT! You ruined EVERYTHING you snot nosed little shit! If you would have let Sam shoot me he would have killed the demon."

"And you."

"Are you really that stupid Dean? Do I really have to stand here and spell it out for you?"

"Dean, I don't know what to do! Tell me what to do to help you! You're... please Dean!"

"The demon Dean! The demon would have been DEAD! It would have been over! I wouldn't of had to make that damn deal and Sammy sure the hell would never have DIED! Don't you get it? Your little trip down under? That lands squarely on you. The way I see it, you deserved your one way ticket!"

"I...I DIDN'T DESERVE IT YOU BASTARD! HOW? Dad.. how can you say that I deserved to go to Hell? That's... not... how...?"

"Dean? Shit... DEAN! Please man, you're losing it! Come back to me bro, please!"

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><p><strong>TBC... I know, not a great place to end the chapter but I wanted to get it out as I may not be able to update for a few days. There will be more John in the next chapter and then... when he is all done torturing our Dean, the final verse will be revealed (insert ominous music here :) Thanks for stopping by and I hope to see you again next time! Take care! :)<strong>


	10. Chapter 10

**Welcome Back! John has a little more fun with his traumatized son ;) Thank you for all the wonderful reviews, you guys are totally awesome! I hope you enjoy! :)**

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><p>"Dean! Breathe damn it! Breathe!"<p>

"Can't… get air… S'my!"

"Yes you can. You aren't going to let some skanky troll win are you? Come on bro, calm down and the air will come. That's it. In and out. Just follow me… there… good job… Better?"

"Y'h… yeah… thanks S'my… Uh…"

"Still here Dean. Don't worry, I can wait until you're ready to continue, I do have all eternity you know."

"Shit."

"What?"

"He's still… still here Sam…"

"It's almost over. It… it has to be over soon man…"

"You deserved it. And you know it. You would still be there if it weren't… if those idiots wouldn't have pulled you out of the fire. They should have left you to rot."

"Not Hell… can't talk about…"

"Dean, listen bro, you got out remember? You're with me again right? Dean?"

"We know how it played out though don't we? In the end it wasn't you who saved the world, who stopped the apocalypse showdown, it was Sam. He was forced to make the ultimate sacrifice; not you. Then again, I suppose I'm not all that surprised, he has always been stronger. Huh, he stood up to me; challenged me, while you just sat back and took whatever I doled out without question. He wanted and fought to make a life for himself, instead of just being led around on a leash like a damn dog; obedient and loyal to a fault. He was strong enough to fight the devil himself; while you just sat back and watched from the sidelines; just sat there, and let him take the plunge."

"S'my, please! Why… I should have stopped you."

"Dean, I'm right here man!"

"I asked one thing of you Dean, one damn thing. Watch out for your brother and keep him safe. Didn't do such a bang up job of it did you? No, of course not. I should have known you would screw it up, just like every other little thing in your entire pathetic life. I'm such an idiot. I should have let you die."

"Stop saying that!"

"I guarantee that if I was still around Sam would never have gone through what he did. And you can be sure that Hell would never have been unleashed onto the earth. The world would have been a better place Dean, without you in it."

"Dean. You're breathing, you gotta control it! You gotta stop listening to it!"

"But dad… please…"

"Stop Dean. I don't care. You mean nothing to me, not anymore and hell, I'm not even sure if you ever did. There comes a time when a man just has to admit it; that his son is a complete and utter failure. And that Dean, is what you are to me, what you have always been. A failure."

"You… you can't mean that… you can't! I did everything you ever asked of me! I gave up my life to hunt!"

"Everything I asked? Might want to check your records on that one!"

"I was more of a father to Sam than you were, you selfish dick! What about us huh? What about your sons? You were so obsessed with finding that damn demon you didn't even see us anymore! So don't you stand there and try and lay the blame on us…."

"There is no 'us' here Dean. I'm not laying the blame on you and Sam. Just. On. You. And you know I'm right, you know that if you would have never dragged your brother back into this he would be living the good life, complete with white picket fence and 2.5 kids. He would be safe, and loved, and would probably forget all about hunting and this life. Hell, I'm pretty damn sure he would even forget about you. I mean, why would someone stop to reminisce about the one thing that never did anything but bring them down? Hmm?"

"No… Sam, he… Sam would never forget me…"

"What? Of course I wouldn't Dean, not ever. Do you hear me? Not ever!"

"Whatever you have to tell yourself to somehow pry your worthless hide out of bed each morning. All I know is that he is only with you now because you ripped his world apart, until you were the only thing left. School, gone. Jessica, gone. Everything else but you? Gone. There's that selfish streak of yours again shining through loud and clear. If Sam really thought about it, about you and the devastating effect you have had on his life, he would come to realize, just like I did, that you are the reason for everything bad in his life. Sam is just another innocent victim of the poison that runs through your veins.

"Can't take… please stop… please… S'mmy?"

"Hang on Dean, just hang on…"

"You know, I spent a hundred years; a whole century in the pit."

"I don't want to hear this… Please, don't make me hear this!"

"Never once did I cave; or give up; or give in to those evil sons of bitches as they sliced and diced and laughed; as the pieces fell from my bones into the abyss below. But you? What a kick in the nuts you turned out to be. Pathetic and weak. You caved at the drop of a hat! Couldn't wait to get off the rack and torture those who did much less than you to end up there."

"I'm sorry Dad… I'm sorry… I didn't want you to make that deal! Why did you do it? I should have died!"

"God Dean… please man, it wasn't your fault. He made that deal himself, you didn't make him. You have to let it go Dean, you have to stop punishing yourself for what he did!"

"I wasted my life to save you and you let them win anyways! You're the one who STARTED IT! YOU Dean, no one else, just YOU!"

"STOP IT!"

"What? Did my death, the death that you caused mean that little? Don't you even give one little shit that you are the one to blame for the torture they inflicted on me? Sure, you were always a good little soldier; followed orders to a tee, except the one time when it really mattered! You were supposed to look out for Sammy! But, you couldn't even do that right! You are nothing but a disappointment to me; to your mother…"

"Don't say that…"

"…and most of all, to your brother. You didn't save him from it, you helped it along!"

"S'my? SAMMY!"

"I'm right here Dean! Dean!"

"You know you should still be there Dean, rotting away, burning and suffering along with the rest of the garbage down in the pit. I think that is where you belong."

"It wasn't my fault… if I wasn't supposed to... but, they saved me… they…"

"It's okay, don't worry about their mistake, it'll all be fixed soon. Like I always say, better late than never. Right kiddo?"

"Wh..what do you mean? Dad? Please… what do you mean!"

"Ah Dean, imagine my delight at this moment. I feel so lucky to be the one to send you into the final leg of your journey with these simple words…

Nine, ten…

BACK TO HELL AGAIN!"

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><p><strong>TBC... Thanks for stopping by, I hope to see you again for the next chapter! :) Reviews would be awesome! ;)<strong>


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey folks! This is a real short one but let me assure you, it ain't at all sweet! ;) I hope you enjoy, not really sure when next update will be, a lot of things going on this week. But, then again, I may be inclined to write to get my mind off of life 'stuff'. I hope the next chapter will be sooner rather than later! Sorry for babbling... on to the Dean torment! :) P.S. Thanks for reading and following this story along! :D**

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><p>"NO! I CAN'T GO BACK! God, please… not this, anything but this… it's all around us Sam, the whole place! I can't do this!"<p>

"Shit. Dean, you need to open your eyes. Please dude, you need to look at me!"

"LET GO OF ME! AHHH! Stop! I… I can't… I made it out, you can't bring me back!"

"DEAN! You need to open your eyes NOW! Look at me! You are in the motel, remember?"

"Sam please! Let go of me, I need to… it's so hot… and so cold… the noise, don't you hear it? They're calling me Sam, the souls… they are…"

"Dean, sit down! You cannot leave!"

"Just watch me! Sam… I can't do this! I CAN'T!"

"You have to! There's nothing we can do to stop it. This is the last verse, you can do it. I believe in you. Please!"

"NO! Get away from me, let me go! Get your damn hands off of me!"

"Not gonna happen bro. Listen, you need to stay here, with me. You go out that door and Hell is just going to follow you. You need to stay here so I can help you through it!"

"You can't! Sam, don't you get it? The things… the things I did… "

"Dean, I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I… I wish I could take it all away, every last bit. But I can't. So help me, I just can't. But listen man, you are not back there alright? Anything you see? Anything you feel or hear? Not real and not happening. You are not in Hell, you are in some shithole of a motel with me. I'm not going to let them hurt you Dean, and neither are you. They are just images; memories."

"Sammy? I… can't hear you. They… they're in my head. Drilling into my brain. Can't you hear them? It's so loud. The souls Sam. All the souls I tortured, all of them, they are here screaming my name; they want me to pay for what I did. All of them. Every last one."

"DEAN! CAN YOU HEAR ME? C'MON BRO! DEEEEEAN!"

"Please stop! STOP! I… I had to. I couldn't take anymore, couldn't go on... dad, you were right about me. I deserved to be there. Still do."

"DEAN? What is it? What? WHAT? I got you man. You can feel that right Dean? My hand on your arm? Dean?"

"No… please… no… not again. Sammy please… don't let 'em burn me… DON'T LET THEM BURN ME!"

"Son of a bitch! Dean! YOU ARE ALRIGHT! YOU ARE NOT BURNING! Don't look at your body, look AT ME! That's it, can you hear me? Okay, that's real good."

"S'my… hurts so bad… my skin Sam, look, can't you see? It's… melting… it's dripping off my bones…"

"No it's not Dean. Look again, it's just your mind playing tricks on you."

"Wait, what the? Sam? Sam, my arm, it's… still there. I can't see the bone, it's… fine…"

"That's what I've been trying to tell you man, we are in the motel and you are having a bad, bad acid flashback dude. Try not to piss off any more witches okay? You… I'm just glad you're back man."

"Yeah, right. That stupid crone had a lot of ammunition to choose from I guess huh?"

"Yeah, Winchester curse strikes again."

"Got that right… oh…"

"What is it?"

"Tell me you can hear that Sam. Please… can you hear it?"

"Uh…"

"Frick. That means… it's still not over. But, it has to be! IT HAS TO BE!"

"Dean? Still with me man? This is getting kind of old man, I need you to give me a smart ass jibe or something. Please."

"No, it… it can't be…"

"What Dean? What do you see? Stop looking at whatever the hell you think is over there! DEAN!"

"You can't be here! You are DEAD! Alistair, you CAN NOT BE HERE!"

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><p><strong>TBC... Thanks for stopping by, reviews would of course be AWESOME! <strong>


	12. Chapter 12

**Hi there. Sorry for the delay, life and its obstacles have gotten in the way as of late.**

**I have decided that this is a good place to end this story. I may decide to carry on with the 'aftermath' in a separate story at some point if anyone would be interested. **

**As always, I appreciate all of those out there in fanfiction land who have been following this story along and an extra thanks to those who have sent such wonderful comments my way. I'd love to hear you thoughts on its conclusion if you feel so inclined. Thanks so much to all, you make this hobby of mine very worthwhile. I hope you enjoy. :D **

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><p>"That's right bro. He can't be here. Alistair is dead…"<p>

"He's… but I can see him Sammy. He's right there. Right… friggin…there…"

"No Dean, he isn't. Look at me man. Right. At. Me. Okay listen, you are drifting, you need to stay with me and listen to what I am telling you. Are you with me? Dean?"

"Uh… yeah Sammy, always with you."

"Okay, good. I don't know about you but I have had just about enough of this tour of the top ten worst things that you have gone through in your life. So I have to insist this time Dean. You need to concentrate on only me this time around okay? We need to get this crazy shit over and done with so you can come back down from this bender trip of yours."

"M'listening Sam."

"You might be listening but you aren't looking at me Dean, not totally. I know you're trying, but I can see your eyes following the phantom demon in the room. I can see it in your face Dean; I can hear it in your voice and I can feel it in the way your body is strung so tight that one wrong move and something is going to pop in there. I can sense the fear Dean, and the pain. I just… I wish it wouldn't take something like this for you to let me see it; when that damn wall of yours has been stripped away and you can't keep it inside."

"Gotta… gotta look out for you S'mmy. Always. Shit… it's just so real… are you sure I can't go back Sam? Are… sure?"

"Yes Dean. You aren't back and you can never go back. I know for a fact that Alistair is dead. No matter what you see, no matter the sounds you hear or the sulphur you smell, that demon son of bitch is dead. Not in Hell, not waiting for his chance to pop back up here and surprise you with an unannounced visit. He is dead, as in no longer exists; snuffed out of the realm of any reality; turned into dust. Dean? Are you listening? Dean?"

"He's gonna make me scream again Sam. I… I can't scream anymore. I… I don't… want to…"

"Shit. Dean? DEAN!"

"Yeah S'my?"

"You are losing your focus again dude. He is never going to hurt you again. I promise."

"But… it… everything tells me all of this is real."

"Your senses aren't firing on all cylinders bro. You need to…to listen to me and you need to trust me. I'm your brother Dean. The one you sacrificed everything for to save. The one you swore to protect and have for your entire life.

I am the only thing in this moment that is real. I know you're confused and hurting and that everything else right now is screaming out to you; telling you that you are back there, all except for one… ME… I am telling you it is not real. You have to believe me Dean because I would not lie to you, not about this. Trust me when I say that Alistair is dead and gone. You trust me right Dean?

"What? Of course I do Sammy, you know that man."

"Good, then focus on that. On the trust."

"I trust you with my life Sammy."

"Good. I mean, this Alistair shit, I should know right? I'm what they call the ultimate authority on the topic of his death."

"What?"

"Well, seems to me that I should know, seeing how I'm the one who killed him. Remember?"

"Uh, not really dude…it's all kind of foggy. Oh yeah, and I was sort of on the verge of death right then."

"I know. When I saw you Dean I thought… I thought you were gone man. I thought I was too late and that I had failed to do for you what you have done for me time and time again. When I saw that smug bastard I… I didn't think, I just let him have it. I did it. I killed him. Didn't even bat one of my damn eyelashes.

He wasn't going to get the easy way out. Not just a trip back down to the pit, not this time. I felt the life, or whatever the hell demons have inside them, get pulled out of him; he was never going to make another person or soul suffer, I made sure of it. No doubt about it bro, he is dead"

"Dead? He… he's really dead?"

"Yes, Alistair can't hurt you anymore. He's gone, just like all those other evil pieces of crap who have messed with us. All gone. None are ever coming back. So, whatever Alistair is saying to you, whatever you see and whatever you feel are just memories forced back on you by that old hag."

"Sammy?"

"Everything you've gone through tonight, none of it is real. It's just you and me, two brothers with a hell of a lot of baggage hanging out and reliving the worst moments you've had to endure. I know, not the best way to spend the night but I ain't going anywhere bro, so let's just get this over and done with, I could use a stiff drink."

"You and me both. Okay. Yeah. You're right. Dead. Dead. D E A D…. Dead."

"You okay man?"

"Yeah, m'good. That slimiest of the slimy slimeball club is dead. Gone. Can't hurt me. Or you. Or anyone else ever again. Do you HEAR THAT AL? I don't believe in you. There's only one thing I believe in and that one thing is Sam. I believe in him and what he tells me. So you can take your smart mouth and your torture toys, bend over and ram them straight up your white, paediatrician ass.

I ain't gonna let you win, not anymore, not after everything Sam and I have been through. It's so over Al, so maybe you should take off before you start getting all misty eyed at the thought of being dumped."

"That's it man, that's more like the Dean I know; the one who is stubborn to a fault. Dean? What's the smile for dude?"

"I'm good man. Huh, just, who knew your chick flick fascination could actually come in handy. Pulled me back. I think Mr. Torturer over there is getting tired of the cold shoulder. I can't hear him anymore. Keep going Sammy, do some more talking, I… it's almost over bro, I'm sure of it."

"Okay man. Um, remember when you broke into my place and I kicked your ass?"

"Right. As if bro. I let you, I could have taken you anytime but didn't want you to break a damn nail or some shit. You were kinda soft back then bro, you gotta admit."

"Uh huh, would have never happened Dean. I had you. Just lucky for you I figured out who it was before I pummelled your ass into the floorboards. Good times man. Good times."

"Mmm… yeah man, good times. Uh…"

"Dean, what are you looking at now?"

"It's about fricken time."

"What is it? What are you looking at?"

"The best thing ever little brother. Nothing. Absolutely nothing."

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><p><strong>The End. Thanks for stopping by and giving this story a chance, I appreciate it! :D<strong>


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